Тема сочинения, которая могла бы попасться в IELTS Writing Task 2 Academic.
Предлагаем очень хорошее сочинение на эту тему. Тем не менее, в ней есть незначительные ошибки (обозначены цифрами).
Как их исправить? Как вы думаете, какой балл получил бы студент за такое сочинение?
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?
Modern means of communication have influenced the way we keep in touch with friends and socialize with colleagues and business partners. On the one hand, interaction has become faster and more convenient. On the other hand, this has resulted in the decrease in real-life face-to-face contact.
For business people and workers (1) technology is a blessing. E-mail and Skype have helped to give and receive information rapidly. As a result, business processes have accelerated and this, in turn, has contributed to economies’ growth (2). It all went even further than that after the arrival of webinars and online conferencing. Employees are now able to communicate tirelessly without being exhausted by long-haul flights and business trips. Furthermore, new means of interaction have helped to save precious and scarce financial resources.
However, technology has badly influenced the way people communicate with their friends and beloved (3). More and more individuals prefer to spend their free time in front of the computer using chat rooms rather than to spend an active day outdoors. Partners spend less and less time together and prefer to communicate in their virtual world rather than discuss their problems face to face. As a result, people become out of touch of (4) what happens in the real world.
Up-to-date technology has undoubtedly revolutionized communication. The pace at which we exchange information is an obvious advantage for the business. At the same time, individuals shouldn’t (5) be deluded into thinking that computers and other gadgets are a substitute to (6) real-life interaction in their free time.